CHINESE SPIES? FILIPINOS ARE TOO BUSY SURVIVING THE APOCALYPSE
- Jan Writer
- Oct 9, 2024
- 3 min read
If you’re standing in the middle of EDSA, holding a cardboard sign that says "HELP! CHINESE SPIES!" the most reaction you’ll get is a collective shrug. If anyone stops at all, it’s probably because they're about to ask for spare change. I mean, who has time to worry about espionage when the price of rice and other commodities are flirting with your weekly grocery budget?
Speaking of flirting, you could say the Philippines has been on a blind date with disaster for as long as it’s been pretending democracy works. And as we swipe right through waves of inflation, criminality, corruption, poverty—oh, don’t forget poverty, it’s like that third wheel that never leaves—who really has time to worry about Chinese spies?
Espionage? Honey, we’re just trying to afford eggs.
So, about Alice Guo—that “Tarlac mayor-turned-suspected spy-turned TikTok sweetheart” (which, let's be honest, sounds more like a Netflix show than a real-life problem), she's still dominating manufactured news headlines.
Gasp, right? WRONG.
Filipinos’ attention span for scandal barely outlives a TikTok trend. Spy or no spy, it's all white noise in the symphony of “putangina” most people mutter under their breath when their electricity or water bill arrives. The paranoia about foreign infiltration could fill headlines, but Filipinos? We’re too busy praying that the next MRT ride won’t end in tragedy.
Now, let’s get one thing straight: no one's lying awake at night praying the rosary because Alice Guo might be a Chinese agent. You know what keeps Filipinos awake? The suffocating heat, the roaring hunger in their bellies, and the unrelenting anxiety of making it to the next payday. Spies are just an abstract luxury concern for those who don’t have to wrestle with basic human survival every day.
“Know thyself,” said a Greek philosopher. Do Filipinos even have time for knowing when all they do is survive? There’s a reason why the perennially famous line from “Les Misérables”—“At the end of the day, you’re another day older”—resonates here more than it ever did in 19th-century France. What’s another day with espionage hanging in the air when today’s problem is how to not end up at a La Funeraria Paz branch, courtesy of some stray bullet in Pasay because the government is too busy organizing concerts rather than arresting the rising crime rate?
So, yeah, Chinese spies? Sure. But there are more pressing enemies on the Filipino radar. It’s called life.
Meanwhile, government officials, who love to play the victim card with their imperialist overlords in Washington, will milk this for all it’s worth. Why? Because it’s easier to sell the fear of foreign spies than to address real issues, like corrupt officials cozying up with our actual American colonizers—or performing Carlos Yulo-level accounting acrobatics to steal from the nation’s coffers.
It's a beautiful irony, isn’t it? One minute, they’re signing or trying to attract business deals with China, the next, they’re screaming about Chinese espionage. If you squint, it all looks the same: a never-ending fuckfest of hypocrisy and misdirection.
I guess it’s fitting. Filipinos, who’ve had to endure the reality that the system is rigged, are hardly surprised anymore. We’ve become numb. It’s a survival tactic, honed through years of neoliberal politics and leaders who think governance is just a stepping stone to their dream of luxury handbags and Swiss watches.
Spy? No spy? It doesn’t matter. This spymongering is just another round in a long-running distraction technique, funded by the U.S. to drag us all into their bitter rivalry with Beijing.
Are we really concerned about Chinese spies? Sure, if it’s a slow news day. But you know what we’re more concerned about? Surviving another day without collapsing under the weight of rising economic inequalities and political corruption.
But let’s take a moment to laugh. Imagine, just for a second, a random juan’s out in the street, sitting with their bottle of Tanduay, facing a day filled with hunger, crime, and uncertainty. They look up, probably a little tipsy, and see the news: “Chinese spy infiltrates Philippines!”
You know what they’d say? “At least she isn’t another corrupt politician.”
If you find my work meaningful and would like to support me, you can do so through the following:
☕ Buy Me A Coffee:
📱 GCash (QR code):
As an independent writer, your support helps in my continued work. Thank you. 🌹
Comments